Movies

Funniest pot joke in a movie?

The moment in Up in Smoke (1978) when the blissed-out Cheech, having sampled a doobie the size of Baja California, asks, "How'm I driving?" and the blitzed-out Chong answers, "Um, I think we're parked?"

Or when The Dude (Jeff Bridges), the bowler/stoner of The Big Lebowski (1998), hallucinates tumescent pins and balls that resemble private parts dancing?

Or maybe when Thurgood (Dave Chapelle) in Half Baked (1998) inhales, exhales and declares, "This weed was the shiz-nittlebam snip-snap-sack"?

Cheech & Chong, Beavis & Butthead, Jay and Silent Bob, Harold & Kumar, Bill & Ted.

To this movie minyan who worship at the ark of cannabis add Dale and Saul (Seth Rogen and James Franco) from Pineapple Express (opened Wednesday), the comic misadventures of a genially inept stoner (Rogen) and his dealer (Franco), who witness a murder, are hunted down by mob dealers, and avoid bullets — without harshing the peace-out types.

Like so many stoner movies, it's a weed action-comedy that is really, really, really funny without being really good. The pothead comedy is the triumph of munchies over inertia.

Potheads and action? Inherently comic, for as most anyone who has lived in a college dorm can attest, stoners are to action as the Tilt-a-Whirl is to driving.

To enjoy stoner silliness is not to advocate an unlawful activity (says one whose post-college pot experience is limited to the Revereware-in-the-kitchen variety). My sentiments about marijuana are pretty much like those about guns. I firmly believe in their control — except on-screen, where they are crucial for entertainment value.

Just as you can be antigun and enjoy Dirty Harry, you don't have to be stoned to enjoy stoner comedy.

The earliest recorded comedy — Greece, seventh century B.C. — involve the antics of drunks. Then, as now, one in an altered state lacked social and sexual inhibition and exhibited anti-authoritarian behavior, vicariously enjoyed by his audience. Then, as now, the comic function of souse (or stoner) was to stand apart from everyday life and note the inconsistencies in institutions and social order.

Heirs to this tradition: W.C. Fields ("Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink."); Red Skelton (famous for his "Guzzler's Gin" bit, as the pitchman taping an ad who gets sloppy drunk on his product); and George Carlin ("Drinking and driving don't mix. Do your drinking early in the morning and get it out of the way. Then go driving while the visibility is still good.").

Cheech & Chong took drunk humor out of the bar and into the car, substituting doobie for highball and leaving no stoner unturned. Thirty years ago, they combined buddy movie with substance-abuse comedy, creating the pothead comedy, which reintroduced visual humor to movies in an era when much comedy was purely verbal (see Woody Allen). Since then, the equation for pothead drollery has been: 2 dudes + 1 doobie = 1,001 giggles.

Pothead humor is particularly suited for film because it provides endless possibilities for slapstick. Take the scene in Pineapple Express where Franco, driving an unfamiliar car where he can't find the wipers, improvises a peephole through the toxic-red Slurpee blanketing the windshield.

We know that marijuana kills brain cells. So is it counterintuitive to ask: Smartest movie pot joke? For me, it's a toss-up.

Is it Kumar (Kal Penn) and his reply to the med-school admissions dude in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle who can't understand why he doesn't want to attend, even though he has perfect MCAT scores: "Just because you're hung like a moose doesn't mean you gotta do porn"?

Or is Spicoli (Sean Penn) in Fast Times at Ridgemont High," explaining the meaning of the Declaration of Independence to his bemused history teacher: "What Jefferson was saying was, 'Hey! You know, we left this England place 'cause it was bogus; so if we don't get some cool rules ourselves — pronto — we'll just be bogus too!"'

In the immortal words of Bill & Ted (and Wayne and Garth): "Party on, dudes!"

Top 10 stoner movies

1. The Big Lebowski (1998) The Dude (Jeff Bridges), bowls, smokes, drinks White Russians and avenges the mobsters who soiled his Oriental.

2. Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989) Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves as high schoolers (literally) who board a time machine to prepare a report for history.

3. Dazed and Confused (1993) Last day of school in May 1976, and students take a hit and hit on each other.

4. Dude, Where's My Car? (2000) After a hard-partying night, Ashton Kutcher and Seann William Scott heroically hunt for their misplaced vehicle.

5. Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) Sean Penn as Spicoli, stoner/surfer and class clown of the high school circus.

6. Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004) John Cho and Kal Penn as overachievers who kick back and get munchies that inspire a heroic New Jersey quest from Newark to Camden.

7. Half Baked (1998) Light up and lighten up is the motto of the comedy starring Dave Chappelle as the stoner who deals medical marijuana and encounters dopers, including only-creative-when-stoned smoker (Janeane Garofalo) and only-to-enhance-certain-experiences smoker (Jon Stewart).

8. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith as the dim duo who travel from Red Bank, N.J., to Hollywood to cash in on a comic based on their dissolute characters.

9. Repo Man (1984) Emilio Estevez learns that the more you drive, the stupider you get — which must be code for smoking weed.

10. Up in Smoke (1978) Cheech & Chong in the stoner "Odyssey that started it all."