LINCOLN — When the phone rang at the Cote house on Thanksgiving Day, Jeff Cote wasn’t expecting it to be anyone special. Then, on the other end of the phone he heard the voice of his son, Nathan.“They all cooked up that little surprise. I didn’t know anything about it,” Jeff Cote said.
The call came as such a surprise because Nathan is on a two-year mission in Winnipeg, Canada, with the Cotes’ church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
As part of the mission rules, Nathan is only allowed two phone calls a year – on Mother’s Day and Christmas Day – but Roxann Cote, the matriarch of the Cote family, hoped a special call would be allowed so her son could speak to his father before he was deployed to Iraq on Dec. 7.
“I asked if he could call earlier so he could talk to his dad before he leaves, and they let him make another phone call,” Roxann Cote said.
Jeff Cote recently received notification that he would be heading to the Middle East to do contract work for the Army.
His location has changed from Afghanistan to Iraq, his deployment date has moved up and the timeframe of his service has shifted from six months to a year. Cote has been spending all the time he has with his wife and children, Peter, Jaimie and Mary, and a phone call from Nathan was just the thing he was missing.
“It was a blessing,” he said.
As a little silver lining of receiving his orders, Cote will get to take a miniature version of a mission trip of his own while in Iraq – just the thing he missed out on when he joined the Mormon faith.
“I plan on taking this year of my life and teaching the gospel,” he said. “The Army precluded missionary service since I joined at 19. But I feel that in a way I’m serving the mission I never served before because my son is doing it and my other son will do it.”
Raised Catholic, Cote took an interest in the Mormon religion after spending time around fellow military friends who were a part of the faith, and learning about their beliefs and way of life.
“It was the beginning of a spiritual transition for me and it has shaped my life,” Cote said.
The usual procedure is for a young man to go to his local bishop when he is 19 and he is then sent on a two-year mission anywhere in the world he is assigned. The trip is obligatory for young men and optional for young women.
While the military took Jeff Cote away from an opportunity to have his own mission trip, he and his wife said they have never pushed one life decision or the other on Nathan or any of their children.
“Everyone says joining the military makes you a man, and it does, but I have never tried to push that on Nathan or any of my kids, and I’ve never spoken against it,” Cote said.
In fact, he said the similarities between joining the military and spending time serving a mission are similar. The missionaries are up by 6 a.m., in bed by 10 p.m., there is no television and they are given a small stipend to live off of each month.
“It’s a very regimented life,” Cote said. “Missionary service has all of the benefits one would gain being in military life.”
And though Nathan will be just a year into his service in January, his mother said they have already seen him mature.
“If he were to have joined the Army like his dad did, I’d be worried all the time,” she said. “… We can see the changes in his e-mails. He’s always telling us how grateful he is for us and how much he loves us. One change has been his deep sense of gratitude.”
Peter, who is close to his brother, said there are even changes in the way he talks and the words he uses.
“He’s very excited about the message he’s sharing,” Roxann Cote said.
A few more changes will be waiting on Nathan, too, when he returns to Lincoln instead of Louisiana, where he said his goodbyes.
The Cotes moved to the north end of Talladega County in May, the latest on a long list of towns and cities they’ve relocated to. Nathan will have to report to the high council at the Church’s Stake Center in Birmingham, never having met them before. And he will have a new church family ready to greet him at the Talladega meeting house.
“They wrapped their arms around us and haven’t let go,” Jeff Cote said.
That’s another wonderful part of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Roxann and Jaimie Cote agreed.
“It has made the moving easier for us because we know that wherever we go, there will be a family there for us,” Roxann Cote said.
But with two members of their family gone for the upcoming new year, the Cotes said there will be some adjusting.
Jeff Cote said one of the biggest drawbacks is missing a year with his youngest child, Mary.
“I don’t want her to forget me, but I know she will,” he said.
Mary will celebrate her first birthday in March and the Cote family tradition is for the birthday baby to have a chocolate cake to eat and play in all to themselves.
“I want a picture of her completely covered in chocolate cake and frosting,” Cote laughed.
But on the other side, he sees perks. Cote is scheduled to return home in exactly 12 months, so that will get him home just before Christmas next year, and three weeks later, Nathan’s two years will be up and he’ll be coming home to his family, too.
“That will be a double Christmas present for us,” Jeff Cote said.
