Or something.
Answering the telephone early Memorial Day morning, I got a little surprise.
The lady on the phone sounded friendly, saying something about calling for “Forest” someone or something or other.
With election day on the horizon, I assumed someone named “Forest” wanted my vote.
I asked, “Forest who?”
“Oh no,” she said. “We’re a cemetery, and you’ve won a free lot.”
Huh?
I was a little stunned.
I had to laugh, and asked, “Do y’all know something I don’t know or something?”
She reminded me that I had endured a telephone survey from the company earlier this year and because of that, I was eligible for a “lot.”
Then I remembered the call, the young lady was so polite I couldn’t bring myself to say “no.”
Plus, it’s not every day you get to respond to a cemetery survey, eh?
I remember having the survey caller laughing, telling her I really had no intention of dying and that I didn’t know what they could glean from my input.
I’ve pretty much decided that I’m just not going to die, the options for disposal aren’t exciting.
Going six feet under isn’t especially appealing nor are any of the other options I know about.
Therefore, I’d better start adding some pretty powerful healthy living advice to my not always so healthy living if you know what I mean.
Anyway, back to the “freebie.”
My mother taught me early on that there’s really no free lunch and it’s a lot better if you’re not looking for one, anyway.
Just be able to buy your own, she’d say.
She said, too, if something’s free, it’s probably not worth very much anyway.
I remember I won something else once, a television that I didn’t want or need.
I gave it back, too, to the people using it for a fundraiser, maybe they made some more money off it I hope.
Besides, you can only watch one TV at a time and probably the less we watch of it the better.
This time, the “prize” certainly didn’t excite me, either, so giving it back was just a knee jerk reaction I guess.
I guess I told the nice lady who called all this, I’m not known for keeping my random thoughts to myself, and the lady had a pretty good sense of humor.
She started laughing when I declined the lot, wished me a good day and that was that.
“Just give it to someone else,” I said.
I walked outside to tell Gruffy about the incident, hoping he wouldn’t say I should have accepted the offer.
“Oh good lord no,” he said. “No way.”
I guess he kind of feels the same way I do.
Some things, you really just don’t want.
No matter how “lucky” you are.
