I didn’t have any experience with surgery other than lots of oral surgery, so there’s another line of defense.
And this really wasn’t real surgery in the truest sense, it didn’t involve any general anesthetic so I didn’t take it all that seriously.
I thought I’d be back to work in a day or two.
Well, that part didn’t happen with the old “eye lift,” which choose to believe me or not, was totally done to improve my vision, not to try and look like it was 20 years ago.
Anyway, I get through the parade of people who come in and out to assess you and get all the papers signed, and off we go to the operating room, which didn’t look like I expected.
It was just a room with some machines in it, nothing super technical in nature as I’d imagined.
And after an hour or so had passed, it was all over and I get wheeled out to recovery.
It wasn’t long until my surgeon appeared and announced, “You’re good to go.”
Of course I thought that meant I could high tail it out of there.
And that’s what I did.
Then I realized I had to find a way out of that bed. The bed rails wouldn’t budge and all I had were two very small openings at the end on either side and two just like those at the top.
I realized that going out the top was out of the question, there was a wall in the way.
My only route for escape was the bottom.
I just sort of scooted down, dragging the IV pole with me, got on my side and slid down.
It kind of pulled on the IV so I went to work on that next. All it is is a needle attached to a tube-surely I could pop that sucker out, no problem. That’s all “they” do, right?
Then I decided to get out of that lovely gown I had on and get dressed before dealing with the IV.
I get all that done, shoes on, reaching for the IV again.
I’m maneuvering it apart, and here she comes.
“How’d you get out of that bed?” she shouts.
I point to the opening at the end of the bed, kind of afraid to say much.
Then I think she pointed to the IV and said something like “Stop!”
Back flies the privacy curtain and she calls out, “Got one!”
I immediately think I know what she meant by that…”one” being a “nut.”
IV gone, I’m reaching for my purse, and making my escape as a few more nurses appear.
“I don’t remember them saying much after that, and all I said was “Hey, I gotta go…”
I found my friend who took me in the waiting room and off we went.
Some people I’ve told this story to think I should have known somehow I would have to wait for something else to happen before I would be set free.
I still say “No one told me…”